Long weekend: start the bad Dad Jokes — as my kids say

[Tigger]

I recently found out that my son got a tattoo of diamonds, spades, clubs, and hearts on his arm. I guess I'll have to deal with him later.

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[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[Major Kong]

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
No guts

 

[Major Kong]

This one's for you Pops

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

They're making the headlines.

 

[rootdoc]

What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.

 

[ScareCrow]

I recently found out that my son got a tattoo of diamonds, spades, clubs, and hearts on his arm. I guess I'll have to deal with him later.

 

[13MikeH]

I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

How do you weigh a millennial? In Instagrams.

 

[Escape2Bronco]

Knock Knock,
Who’s There?
Cantelope
Cantelope who?
Cantelope tonight, dad’s got the car!

 

[Carolo]

This ones for you, Major!

Pilot and co-pilot enter the aircraft, both using dark glasses and white canes. The passengers get nervous.
But the plane starts down the runway, and everyone relaxes.
However the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway and the river beyond!
The passengers begin screaming!
But, the plane lifts of smoothly.
The co-pilot leans over to the pilot and says;
You know, someday they're not going to start screaming soon enough!

 

[Carolo]

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
No guts

Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road?

I don't really have to finish this one, do I?

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[Carolo]

OK, ya got me on that one. I had to google it!

 

[MJE]

 

[13MikeH]

OK, ya got me on that one. I had to google it!

Oh no...generation gap identified

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