Long weekend: start the bad Dad Jokes — as my kids say

thekingprawn

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A Chinese man wakes up on the beach with no memory. He says he thinks his name is Fred.
But I think he might be Wong.

 
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Happy Father’s Day and may your day be better than your jokes! (a very simple task for most of us)

BTW, how do you know when a joke is a dad joke?
It’s a parent.
 

13MikeH

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Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.
 


thekingprawn

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thekingprawn

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13MikeH

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Why do golfers wear two pair of pants? Incase they get a hole in one.

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why?
Inflation
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
 


Y2Dre

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While these aren't classic Dad jokes, I still gotta add these few jokes to the mix:

Yo mama ain't got no neck. They call her "Head & Shoulders".

Yo moma got one leg. They call her Eileen.

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks into his bedroom where his wife is sitting and says "This is the pig I've been sleeping with." The wife says "That's not a pig, that's a duck." The man says "I'm not talking to you."

Happy Father's Day, fellas!
 

13MikeH

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While these aren't classic Dad jokes, I still gotta add these few jokes to the mix:

Yo mama ain't got no neck. They call her "Head & Shoulders".

Yo moma got one leg. They call her Eileen.

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks into his bedroom where his wife is sitting and says "This is the pig I've been sleeping with." The wife says "That's not a pig, that's a duck." The man says "I'm not talking to you."

Happy Father's Day, fellas!
Yeah...those are groaners. Dad joke approved🤣
 

13MikeH

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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife..

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!


What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
 

 
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