Long weekend: start the bad Dad Jokes — as my kids say

[Major Kong]

Dad jokes
what the hell
right?

what happens when a duck flies upside down

he quacks up

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[Adam CW]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Hey we have a drink with your name.” The grasshopper says “Really? You have a drink named Steve?”

 

[MJE]

Since we’re on a Ford forum here’s some relevant jokes, at least in the days before the Bronco was brought back…

 

[13MikeH]

Police investigating deceased husband: ma'am do you have any idea what the cause of death could be
Widow: he uhhh...well poison he was poisoned (tears)
Police: ma'am poison doesn't seem to fit, his body was covered in bruises?
Widow: well how was I supposed to know he wouldn't take the poison?

 

[thekingprawn]

A woman finally had enough of her husband buying guitars, so one day she beat him to death.
The judge looked at her and asked, "first time offender?"
"No," she replied. "First a Gibson, then a Fender."

 

[thekingprawn]

I almost feel like apologizing for that one.

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

 

[thekingprawn]

Last one since my shift is about over.

 

[Mark S.]

So much good stuff here! Here's another:

Two guys are walking their dogs when one says, "Man, I'm thirsty."

The seconds says, "Let's get a beer."

"We can't take dogs into a pub," said the first.

"I got an idea," said the second, "Do what I do."

The second guy puts on dark sunglasses, pulls his dog's leash up tight, then walks into the pub.

"Sorry," said the barkeep, "no dogs allowed."

"This is my seeing eye dog."

"Oh," the barkeep said, "well I guess that's ok then."

The second guy sits down and orders a beer.

The first guy, watching through the window, sees his friend get a beer. He grins, puts on his shades, hitches his dog's leash up, and walks into the pub.

"Hey!" says the barkeep a bit sharply, "You can't bring a dog in; we serve food here."

The first guy says, "But this is my seeing eye dog."

In a very skeptical tone, the barkeep says, "You got a toothless Chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?"

"They gave me a Chihuahua?!!?"

That's for you tropical2022.

 

[Major Kong]

Pull my finger.............

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